The ARDS Foundation - Body, Mind, & Spirit

By Pastor Ian

FINDING ONES SELF

Through my correspondence with a number of people around the world I often receive inspirational messages. Many of them I destine to file 13 as they ask me to contact everyone on my personal Yellow Pages and introduce them to their imperfect prose. Often I am threatened with all sorts of misfortune if I do not pass the message to others. That guarantees it WILL NOT be forwarded. On the other hand, occasionally, just occasionally there appears prose that I would like to forward, and the theme for my message for The ARDS Foundation today is such a piece. Its originator is unknown.

A young woman trying to be independent finally hit the wall one day and went to her mother, telling her about life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and planned to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed to her that just as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother, having listened with empathy as only mothers can, took her to the kitchen, and began curiously to fill three pots with water.

In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she carefully placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil merrily without saying a word.

Twenty minutes later she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Finally, she sieved the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots, which she did, noting that they had become soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she exposed the triple extra hard-boiled egg.
Finally, her mother asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich flavor, smelled the aroma and then asked." What's the point, Mom?" Her mother explained that each of these objects faced the same adversity:- boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, brittle hard and unrelenting, however after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile, its thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior, yet after being exposed to the boiling water, its inside became greatly hardened. The ground coffee beans however, were unique. After they were placed in the boiling water they changed the tormentor (the water), which then became an attractive beverage rather than being discarded.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

It is an interesting question, isn’t it? Think about yourself for a moment. Which are you likely to be? Are you like the carrot that seemed so strong, yet with pain and adversity, find yourself wilting and losing your strength? Perhaps, yet I hope not!

Will you be like the egg that starts out its life strong on the exterior yet with a malleable heart that changes when the heat is on? Would you become hardened and cynical after a tragedy, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial,? Would your external appearance look the same, but on the inside would your Spirit become so affected, that you become bitter with a hardened heart? I don’t think you would admit to that either!

So what about the coffee bean? When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level. Would you like to be the coffee bean when the heat is on in your life? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the torment. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of the bean. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you might appear to ‘change gears’ and enhance the situation and people around you.

I think we would all like to be like the coffee bean, yet if we are honest with ourselves there is probably a bit of all three inside each one of us. Surely the important thing is to acknowledge how we react in various life situations, and try to play to our strengths whilst minimizing our weaknesses. Unlike the Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean, we CAN change who we are.

For example, if you don’t like hospital visiting, either don’t go, and instead become a regular phone-a-friend, or keep your visits short and sweet, always attending with company to ease the pressure you feel.

Another stressor for many is the business meeting. When you examine the reasons why, oftentimes it is the thought of having to speak in front of colleagues, or being called to account on/for some project or another. Now I know what I am about to say is a gross simplification, but it might help, and I can claim to be a bit of an expert in this area. Always be prepared. Do your homework and arrive in plenty of time. That way you have mentally rehearsed what ‘might’ happen and have a ready answer or informed opinion when approached. Recognizing your weakness is the first step in correction and cure.

In my lifetime I have observed many ‘Carrots’ in action, admiring their apparent tenacity in their chosen career/lives/relationships, only later to find they had to bail out. I have also witnessed many hard-boiled ‘Eggs’ being created. People who appeared as initially attractive and have, as a result of life events, become cynical and difficult to approach.

Knowing a ‘Coffee Bean’ is indeed a pleasure. Their Spirits radiate approachability and love. We all know people who are like this. People whom we might think of as ‘old souls.’ They are few and far between, and are the kind of people who will be lifetime friends, spreading their positive influence over our own lives, if we let them.

Remember, becoming what we want to be is as much about knowing what we don’t want to be, as it is taking the positive action to succeed in our dreams.