The ARDS Foundation - Body, Mind, & Spirit

By Pastor Ian

A Time for all Seasons!

In the same way as preparations were made in late November for the festivals of Ramadan and Hanukah, preparations in many homes around the world are now being hurriedly made for Christmas. Each of these festivals call those who consider themselves followers, to take part in sacred customs ranging from fasting and praying, to celebrating, remembering and helping others.

Now I cannot promise you that any of the people who organize and run the ARDS Foundation are any great shakes at 'fasting,' but I can promise you that when it comes to helping others and prayer, the ARDS Foundation comes out on top. If you are seeking help for a loved one, you have come to just the right place. This is not an organization that takes any joy out of its need to exist. Quite the reverse! Eileen, our President, and other supporters like myself, know that in hospitals all over the world there are loved ones spending anything but a 'happy' holiday season as they struggle to beat the odds of ARDS survival. In addition, we cannot forget those who are making a daily pilgrimage between home and hospital, wondering why their lives have been placed 'on hold' in this way.

I have been touched by this in both ways. Firstly, as an ARDS patient I have watched one year slip past into the next, a passenger in the process as I lay like a porcupine in a hospital bed, unable to speak... thanks to a trach tube.

Secondly, as 'on-call' chaplain, and before my battle with ARDS, I was used to being called out of bed late at night to visit seriously ill patients. The only benefit in this task was that I had my choice of hospital parking spots at that time of night.

In this issue of Body Mind and Spirit, I want to focus briefly on how it feels to be the patient. As a patient, sometimes I was so tired I asked that my visitors be restricted to family. At other times I found myself looking forwards to the smiling faces appearing round the door at the appointed time, to spend precious minutes or hours with me.

You know the old saying… you cannot know how a person feels unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. It is so true. We can never know how someone else is feeling, but this is not the point of "empathizing with them." The point is simply BEING THERE FOR THEM AND SHOWING SUPPORT. This is the greatest gift we can give to anyone. Being there for them when THEY need you.

The ARDS Foundation exists as a vehicle of support for those who are in need of its knowledge and experience. By reading the Web page or this newsletter, you are not only helping the one you cherish; you are encouraging and helping us to find better ways of treating the ARDS Syndrome, and these will eventually lead to prevention or cure.

Meantime, it is all too easy, in our anger, to try to allocate blame and place the responsibility for illness on the Creator or the medical profession or the patient themselves. It was never, and is not God's will that our loved ones, or ourselves, became ill. We forget that we live in a world in which (subject to our country of residence) we have freewill to do and be what we please. This 'freedom' comes at a price. The price is that our lives can and will be affected by random happenings which may have a positive or negative effect on us. Following their illness, ARDS survivors become very appreciative of the 'gift' of time and the need to give thanks for each day in each year.

Earlier this week I was sent a few lines attributed to George Carlin on the subject of 'time and aging.' It touched me. I hope you appreciate the parody, as I believe we have ALL been there walking, for once in our lives, in step and in these same shoes.

"Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?" (Some ARDS survivors might disagree) "If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half! " You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YESSSS!!!  

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it's a day-by-day thing. You HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!" (George Carlin)  

So, whoever you are, wherever you may be and however you may feel, before allocating blame, please think about this :- If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade and try to be the best that you can be.